I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
