You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Your dad touched me again.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
