dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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