Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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