I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
