We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
