I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
