You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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