New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
