I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
