got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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