We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
