I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
NoShamevember. You game?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
