I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
