You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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