Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
