You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Text me some of your sweat
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
