guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
