Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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