your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
