i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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