you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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