Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
