I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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