were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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