so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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