Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
they need to just BURY HIM!
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
