Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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