I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
