New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
