please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
