You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
