loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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