Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
