Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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