I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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