I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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