i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Randomize
