For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
