After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
