I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
