the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Randomize
