If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
vagina is talking i cant
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
