Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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