those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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