i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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