This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
