i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
