woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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