New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
