you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
