HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
