she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
