Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize
