Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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