Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
