I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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