I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
