Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
My balls are so social today.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
