in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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