In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
