I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
