I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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