If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
