please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i think i have two assholes
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
