Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
