Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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