i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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