If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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