Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
