I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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