Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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