i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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