Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
