when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
