I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize