Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
