whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
